Movie numero uno: The Haunting in Connecticut (2009). opened yesterday. stars Virginia Madsen, Kyle Gallner, and Elias Kotas (dammit, i thought he looked like Robert de Niro. HAHA.)
"Oh, is it that weird movie with the tree coming out of the boy's mouth?" -Munir
so, lemme just say right now that my expectations for this movie were like not high at all. in this day and age (maybe it's the economy) PG-13 horror movies tend to suck like an Electrolux. but this movie was great decent! oh joy!
GENRE: horror.
THE PLOT: just like every single other freaking film that starts with "The Haunting," this movie is about a wonderful happy family that gets pulled into the bowels of hell when one of their members gets possessed by a paranormal force. demon? ghost? Uncle Jerry? who knows? these movies don't tell us crap until like, right before the climax. but in this movie, the whole possessed thing is sadder 'cause the kid who gets possessed has cancer. sob. however will they cope?
THE GOOD: not so bad acting. unlike lesser horror movies, the actors actually get you to care about the fate of the characters. it does have its obligatory 'scary-jump' moments; IMHO, however, i thought Jeycy's screaming was scarier than anything in the movie. >.> uses horror movie cliches better than other horror movies. also, all loose ends are tied up by the end, so unless you're Helen, you won't be confused.
THE BAD: unfortunately, it is yet another horror movie that takes itself too seriously, utilizing endless cliches, trynna get you to think about its underlying philosophical issues, like "Why do good things happen to bad people?" screw that. PG-13 horror movies are not the place to philosophize. better scary movies are available.
DOPE PERFORMANCE: check out Kyle Gallner as Matt, the possessed cancer kid. his poignant performance is the best thing about the movie.
DOPE QUOTE: don't remember any. lol.
FINAL RATING: 3 out of 5. good job, director Peter Cornwell. this movie doesn't suck.
Movie numero dos: You Kill Me (2007). stars Ben Kingsley, Tea Leoni, and...Luke Wilson? wtf. haha.
"Isn't that the guy who played Ghandi? Why is he being a badass?"
GENRE: black comedy. by that, i hope you know that i do not mean comedy with black people. i mean comedy that has darker undertones than regular comedy. besides, all the people here are like white, so yeah.
THE PLOT: get a load of this. a hitman for the Polish Mafia (yeah, i said 'wtf' too) turns into too much of a drunk to be able to kill people efficiently, so his boss/uncle sends him to San Francisco to sober himself up. as hella bored Mr. Hitman attends Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and works his new part-time job as a mortician, he meets this one girl who has the balls to get him back into the killing business. siiick.
THE GOOD: slick plot. nice witty dialogue. pretty damn funny. didn't think you'd ever believe Tea Leoni and Ben Kingsley getting together? well, they do here, and they're so good their relationship is almost completely believeable. oh, and a nice satisfying happy ending. man, who knew movies with a hitman as the protagonist could make you feel so good about life?
THE BAD: HAHA. okay. so like, watching this movie requires a heavy dose of suspension of disbelief. i mean, in this movie, it seems like most of the people at the AA meetings are more like, "OMG You're a drunk, that's bad!" rather than "OMG You're a hitman? YOU KILL PEOPLE?!" so, you, dear watcher, must just get used the fact that everyone in the movie seems to accept the hitman's murdering, but not his drunkeness. if you can do that, you'll have a lot of fun. if you can't, you suck. go watch something else. XP
DOPE PERFORMANCE: Ben Kingsley is always good, and does a great job here as hitman Frank, keeping true to character all throughout the movie. who knew that the guy who played Ghandi and dweeby Iztack Stern from Schindler's List could be that...dope? HAHA. also worth noting is Tea Leoni, who is pretty funny herself. didn't know she had it in her. o_o especially after Jurassic Park 3.
DOPE QUOTE: there are hella, but this is my favorite: "I chased him for two blocks and finally shot him in a Dairy Queen parking lot. That ain't no way to die." -Frank. amen to that, Frank. amen.
FINAL RATING: 4/5. now THIS is my kinda movie. >:D
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